Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize