We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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