When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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