My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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