Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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