Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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