she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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