explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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