I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
