He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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