i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
