I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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