I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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