It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
