don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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