saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
