listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
