I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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