This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
