Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
