its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize