You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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