8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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