i was born a porn star she said
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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