This girl is more easily done than said...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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