whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
