the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
