I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
