No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
