he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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