3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The air was thick with penises
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
