would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
