Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
