My liver just broke up with me...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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