I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How external is "for external use only"?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
