I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
