mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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