I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
