Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
