As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
