i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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