I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
