No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize