There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
