Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
