he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize