I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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