I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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