I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
