You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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