I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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