I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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