my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
