Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
