Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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