I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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