Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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