Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there's paper in my vomit.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize