I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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