Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
