totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
