Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
