Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
